


The Day I fell for you

by Tory (Ejes)



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: And Aqua is Queen, Earth AU, Flirting, Hello people reading my tags!, Pre-Relationship, Siblings, Terra is...Terra, Van is asocial, Ven is a cupcake
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-05-02 15:50:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14548131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ejes/pseuds/Tory
Summary: When was it? When was the day Aqua stopped being an annoying girl with a dumb smile, and turned into a breathtaking girl with the kindest smile? Vanitas had no idea when he started seeing her differently, but he sure could try to remember.





	1. At the beach?

Was it the day they went to the beach together?

Vanitas sighed. The dumb trio was playing in the water, while he was sitting on the sand, hiding from any direct sunlight under the parasol. He did not want to be here. But agreeing on coming was the only way to get his mother to stop telling him he should go out more often instead of staying in his room. Ven had insisted, too. Ven wasn't a bad person, he wanted to have fun, and he wanted Vanitas to have fun as well. The problem was they didn't have the same conception of  _fun_ , and Ventus didn't get that. First of all, Vanitas didn't like much going outside in the broad daylight. He didn't like crowded place. And he didn't like his brother's friends.

Aqua was okay, annoyingly nice and naïve, but okay. Terra, on the other hand, was an over confident jerk who knew better than anyone what was best for Ventus and who never hesitated to compare the twins and to tell Ventus not to follow Vanitas's path. Vanitas hated him. They barely ever spoke, and when they did, it was only when Vanitas made fun of him or when Terra criticized him. It never ended well. The hour-long road trip to go to the beach had been a living hell for Vanitas.

"So you really don't want to come with us?"

Suddenly, Aqua was there, startling him. When did she appear? The sun was so hot she was almost dry already, her blue hair braided around her head still dripping a bit. His eyes stopped at her tattoo, on the side of her ribcage. It was a blue star-shaped charm. Ventus and Terra had matching ones, all on their left side, Ven's being green and Terra's being red. They got tattooed together on Ven's eighteenth birthday. Aqua had drawn the shape of it, and Ven told his brother this was a Wayfinder, a lucky charm representing their unbreakable connection. Vanitas made fun of him for a week about how cheesy that was.

"Vanitas, you do know my eyes are up here, right?"

He quickly looked at her face rather than her tattoo, smirking.

"Don't flatter yourself, I was just thinking about how dumb you guys will feel once you will stop being friends and still have that junk on your skin."

Aqua laughed and sat next to him. "This is a risk we were willing to take. Let's all pray we will be friends forever, then."

"Nothing lasts forever."

He sounded more bitter than what he intended, but he meant it. One day, they would get tired of Ven, or Ven of them, they would start living somewhere else and never see each other again. What was the point of believing in forever? He did not get it.

"So you really came to stay under that parasol for the whole day."

"I came to have peace. You can go back and play with the kiddies. I'll watch the bags. Unless Terra sent you, because he doesn't trust me and fears I'd steal his wallet? I have no interest in his $21.95."

"Of course Terra would never accuse you of… Wait a minute, how do you know how much there is on his… No, never mind. I don't want to know."

He stayed silent, and she stayed silent, and for a moment, there wasn't a sound but the crashing of the waves and Ven's laughter in the distance. Aqua finally turned her head back at Vanitas with a soft smile.

"You know, Ventus really wanted you to come."

"He did?"

"He did. Terra wasn't really…  _enthusiastic_  about it, but Ven said it had been forever since the two of you ever did something together. He wanted to spend some time with you, and he insisted until Terra agreed. But now that we are here… You don't really look like you're having fun, are you?"

Vanitas looked away. "Not really. But you did. So go back and have fun with them. You're ruining my meditation moment."

She chuckled. "That looks a bit more like a sulking moment. You're sure you don't want to at least put your feet in the water? It's so hot out there, I'm sure you would enjoy it."

Vanitas glanced at the clear blue sky and shook his head, sighing dramatically. "I would have loved to, but I can't. Have you seen how pale I am? The sun would burn me right away."

Aqua gave him a devilish smile that made him shiver. What kind of face was that? How long had she been able to make such a face? Did Ven know?

She rummaged through her bag and took out a tube of cream. He gulped.

"I would never have gone outside without bringing some sunscreen.  _You would have loved to_? Good, let me put you some sunscreen on and you're good to go!"

"What? Put me some… No way! Get lost!"

She chuckled, already squeezing some sunscreen out on her hands. "It's no big deal, I did it for Terra and Ven, too. You're not receiving any special treatment. Now, don't move!"

It was humiliating. She was spreading the sunscreen on him like she would spread butter on a toast, thick layers on top of thick layers. And yet, he couldn't just ignore the tingling on his stomach as her hands massaged his skin.

"Boop! All done!" She wiped the extra sunscreen she had on her fingers on the tip of his nose with a grin. "Now, before we go back…"

She rummaged through her bag once again. She took out so many things from it he wondered if she was Mary Poppins. After a while, she seemed to find what she was looking for.

"There! Perfect!"

She turned her head towards him, and his stomach twitched as he choked, trying not to laugh. He was almost suffocating, tears prickling in his eyes.

"What… the…"

"What?" She asked, tilting her head like a puppy would. "Is anything wrong?"

"Don't… Don't look at me, please… You are…" And then, he couldn't hold it anymore and burst out laughing. She had put on some diving goggles, the smallest, the ugliest that could exist, the kind elementary school kids would wear when going to the swimming pool, and she looked utterly ridiculous.

"I want to look under the water, and I don't want any salt in my eyes! It's only fair that I protect them!"

His stomach hurt so much, now. Whenever he tried to catch his breath, he would see her face and start laughing again. He finally managed to calm down, and realised she was staring at him (with her ridiculous face) with a soft smile that made his stomach twitch again.

"I'm glad I at least got to hear you laugh. I was afraid you were really upset being here."

He stared at her, and for a moment, he forgot her stupid goggles, his eyes locked on hers. She really was too kind, especially when he was an self-aware jerk who knew better than anyone that he did not deserve what was best for him and that no one should ever follow his path.

He did not want to move, did not want to speak, did not want to ruin that strange and somehow magic moment that was happening, but Ventus did it for him the second he emptied a whole bucket of cold sea water on his head.

"Last one in the water cleans the dishes for a week!" Yelled Ven, already running away. Vanitas flashed a grin at Aqua, and jumped on his feet, running after his brother.

This was not such a bad day after all, he thought, as the butterflies fluttered in his stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since the Wayfinders wouldn't have as much meaning in this AU than in canon, I decided they would be tattoos they all got. That's actually something I had in mind for a while, but whenever I wrote about this AU... Nobody ended up shirtless :p Also, as a side story that probably won't ever make it to the real story : Van thought about getting the same tattoo, once, only to piss Terra off, but didn't make it in the end.
> 
> This fic will be a set of one-shots, short slices of life set up in this Earth AU (if you're interested in that AU, I wrote some more stuff about it, check my profile!). Unlike my other multi-chap fics, this won't be uploaded weekly, or regularly (I don't mean not often, I mean there won't be a special day for a new chapter), but whenever I have a new chapter to post :p
> 
> I don't have many chapters written for that fic yet, but they will all be about days where something happened between Aqua and Vanitas. It's not VanQua per se, but it's pre-VanQua, I guess? Let me know your thoughts about that :D


	2. In that dark alley?

Was it that night, in that dark alley?

Vanitas wasn’t a respectable person, and he often hung out with not respectable people, doing not respectable things.

He did not really know or care about the details, but that night, he and his friends were beating up some other guys, which was nothing out of the ordinary. It all started when Scrap, one of his friends, insulted some guy’s girlfriend by calling her a sow, or something like that. Vanitas really never cared about why they would fight, as long as they did. Lately, that was his only way of feeling alive, throwing punches and being kicked back, coming back home with his lower lip cut and his fists wounded. Without the pain, he felt numb.

And there he was, in the middle of a fight they were clearly winning, already losing interest in it the minute he realised how much stronger than their opponents they were.

Two of the three guys had already passed out. On their side, Scrapper was still fighting, Flood was throwing up, and Mandrake was pickpocketing the unconscious guys. Vanitas stepped back.

“Let go, Scrap. He’s had enough.”

Scrapper snorted. “He’ll have enough once I decide he does, Rem. I’ve had a bad day, and I need to let all of this anger out.”

Rem. Short for Remnant. None of them used their real names - they didn’t even know the other ones’ real names. They picked up their villain secret identity the day they joined the group, and Vanitas chose Remnant, because that was what he was. A Remnant of a human being, barely alive, his life so dull.

“Give him one more punch and his head will explode, man. Let go.”

He tried to put his hand on Scrapper’s shoulder to calm him down - which was a mistake. Scrap turned around, landing his fist right into Vanitas’s face, sending him flying away.

“He is right, though. This guy won’t be able to take a single more hit. He’s had more than enough. Also, I called the police, so it’s best if you just leave this place.”

Blood froze in Vanitas’s veins. That voice… No way. Not now, not here, that made no sense.

And yet, there she was. Aqua, his brother’s dumb mom friend, her hair tied up in a ponytail and a sports outfit on. Was she doing some running? Why on Earth would she stop here?

“Listen up, sweetheart, let the boys have fun and go play somewhere else.”

Vanitas couldn’t explain why, but hearing Scrapper calling her  _ sweetheart _ irked him. The best thing was probably to pretend he did not know her, though. He hoped she would be clever enough to realise that too.

“She called the cops, Scrap. We’d better go.” Mandrake glanced all over the place, nervous. He spent two months in jail before, and did not want to go back.

“You know what, guys? I think she’s bluffing. She would still be on the phone with them, otherwise. They would have told her to stay away. So now, sweetie, how about we wait for them  _ together _ ?”

“Scrap…” Vanitas hissed as a warning. He was furious at Aqua for being here. Did she have any idea how stupid it was to show up here?

“We can even have some fun to keep us busy, if you’d like…”

Scrapper’s fingers touched Aqua’s cheek, and Vanitas couldn’t channel his anger anymore. He violently punched his friend, kicking him in the chest to send him away.

“Drake, Flood, get away before the cops show up. Hurry. Let’s meet up tomorrow at the usual spot.”

They did not argue, running away, leaving Aqua and Vanitas in the alley, four unconscious bodies at their feet.

“What are you doing here?” Vanitas hissed as soon as they were gone. She frowned.

“I was enjoying my music, running as I always do, when I heard some people fighting, and I decided to see what was going on. I did not expect to see  _ you _ here.”

“Don’t you realise how stupid that was? These guys aren’t dumb teddy bears like Terra. They could have hurt you, had I not…”

“Had you not what?” She politely asked with a smile. “Saved me? Trust me, Vanitas, I wouldn’t have stepped in if I thought I had no chance. Do not underestimate me because you think girls can’t fight.”

He clicked his tongue, annoyed. “I can’t let them hurt you, Aqua.”

She didn’t answer, and he realised she was trying to process his words.

“If anything were to happen to you while I was there, Ventus would kill me. So don’t get hurt while I’m around. If you’re not doing this for me, do it for Ven.”

A soft smile started to appear on her face, annoying him. She put her fingers on his cheek, wiping away some blood from a cut over his brow. “You like playing it tough, but you still care about your brother. That’s sweet.”

He smacked her hand away, pissed. “Yeah, whatever. You did not really call the cops, did you?”

“I wanted to, but then I saw you. I don’t want you to get into any kind of troubles. I’m doing this for Ven.” And at that, she winked at him.

“Really, though, if you want  _ me _ to stay out of troubles, then stay out of my way, dumbass. I won’t always be able to protect your sorry butt.”

She furrowed his brows, and he wondered if she was angry.

“Listen carefully, Vanitas. I will not thank you for  _ saving _ me, because you’re just using this as an excuse for more violence. This could have been solved in a peaceful way, so don’t start thinking you are a hero who saved the frail little girl I am. I am grateful you wanted to help, but I condemn the way you chose of doing so.”

Vanitas crossed his arms, looking carefully at her. She might be a bit more sporty than most girls he’d seen, but she still looked weak. Too weak for someone like Scrapper, for someone like him. If she wouldn’t listen to him, perhaps he could show her? Prove her she wouldn’t last a second, without really hurting her.

He quickly moved, his leg trying to sweep her legs away, his hand ready to catch her before she’d actually fall.

He ended up pinned against the wall, both of his arms locked in his back within a second.

“I mean it, Vanitas. I’m a big girl. I’ve been practising martial arts since I’m six, so don’t insult me.”

“Fine, fine! I’m sorry! Happy?”

She let go of him with a sad face. “No, I’m not happy. I’m not happy because it’s late and you are spending your nights out fighting, and because you are only seventeen and you are obviously drunk, and because your family is worried for you.”

He shrugged. “That’s my life. That’s what makes me happy. None of your business.”

“Are you really happy, though?”

“None of your business.” He repeated, ignoring how monochrome life was, how dull and insignificant, and how blue was somehow the only colour that made it through to his world.

“It’s getting really late. Let me drive you home. Please.” Her imploring face was almost painful to watch. He glared at her for a moment, before finally giving up.

“Fine. Bring me back to my personal hell, if that can make you happy.”

She smiled, starting to walk away.

“Let’s go, then! We’ll stop by my place so we can treat this wounds of yours beforehand.”

“Aqua?”

She stopped, looking back at him. “What is it?”

He felt so embarrassed, and so stupid. “Don’t tell Ven. Please. I told him I was a superhero saving people when night came, and I still half expect him to believe me.”

She chuckled, a delicious melody in the unbearing noise of the streets.

“I won’t.”

“...Thanks.”

She walked a few feet before him, and he observed her.

His life was dull. His life was boring. But here, with her around, and even though he wasn’t fighting anyone, being alive didn’t feel that bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just letting you know that, as you might have noticed reading this, the chapters aren't necessarily in a chronological order (actually I didn't want Ven to get a tattoo while under 18 and then I wanted to tell stories of when Van was still in high school, soooo... xD)  
> Next chapter will be in Van's most dreaded place: The library!


	3. At the library?

Was it that day at the library?

Vanitas was a lot of things (including a thug, a brute and a jerk), but if there was a thing that he wasn't, that would be a bookworm. In all his years of school, he only set foot in the school library if forced to, and couldn't remember borrowing a book even once. He didn't enjoy reading - not even graphic novels. Books were a bore to him: he needed action, he needed thrill, and never found such a thing in words. Videogames were the only time he would actually enjoy sitting in a chair and do basically nothing - fighting through the screen for when he couldn't fight in real life.

Ventus was more of a casual reader. He enjoyed comics, and some occasional novels. Vanitas never got interested enough to know what his brother actually read.

But the thing was, Vanitas got tricked by his brother, and now had to go to the actual library, and he was pissed.

" _Oh, come on, you said you were going to the library, didn't you? So you can drop my books while you're at it! If I am late to return them, there's a fee to pay!"_

That little rat knew more than anyone that "I'm going to the library" was his excuse for staying out late, and that at no point it involved a real library. And he also knew that asking in front of their parents meant that Vanitas couldn't refuse without telling the truth. He would get his revenge, and he would make sure it would be a good one. But for now, all he had to do was drop the books on the counter and leave this place forever. No big deal, and he would soon join his group of friends, doing whatever did not involve a book.

He burst into the building for the first time of his life. He looked left, right, without a clue of what to do next. He guessed the woman staring at his from behind a table, her cold eyes piercing through his skin as if she knew he did not belong there, was a good hint that she could be the librarian. He walked to her.

"I've got books to return. That's the place?"

"Usually, it is very appreciated to greet people with a  _Good Evening_  or so." She dryly answered. He glared at her, shrugging.

"So that's the place or not?" She sighed, her eyes rolling.

"Yes. Yes, that's the place, young man. Just give me the books and I will take cake of that."

He dropped the bag on her desk. She carefully took the books out one by one, checking every one of them as if she worried he'd have torn some pages or burnt a hole through them.

"Everything seems fine with me. Have a good evening." She insisted a lot on these words, staring at him. He smirked, taking one of the flyers on the desk (something about an orchestra or whatever), crumpled the paper and threw it towards a paper basket on the other side of the room. Of course, he missed. He sucked at basketball. He turned around, ready to go, proud of his whole  _bad boy_  aura when he caught a glimpse of something familiar in the corner of his eyes.

It wasn't even that surprising, and yet he didn't expect to see her here tonight. Even from afar, even though she wasn't facing him, he couldn't not recognize her - he never met anyone with blue hair before. She promised it was natural, but he could hardly believe that. Anyway, she was over there, sitting at a table, with a pile of books around her, not sparing him a single glance - it would be so easy to just leave the facility.

"Do you need help to find the way out?", the librarian asked with a faked polite smile. "It's the exact same door you came in from. Right behind you, a few feet away."

"Oh, shut up.", he said, ignoring her further protestations. It would be so easy to leave. And yet he didn't.

He walked towards her, freezing just a feet or so behind her. What now? He had planned to make fun of her, then leave. But what should he make fun about? For once, he had no inspiration.

"So that's where you hide when you don't want to see Terra's face? Clever. I doubt he can even read his own name."

Mh. Not bad, but not too good either. This got him nasty glances from people around - so the myth about being quieter than the dead in a library  _was_  true - but Aqua didn't react at all, much to his disappointment. She was taking down some notes on a notebook, glancing at a book full of text and schemas he didn't get. It ticked him off. Was this book really more interesting than him? That felt really insulting.

"Hey. Are you really going to ignore me? And they say I'm the rude one."

Annoyed, he was about to leave, when she accidentally pushed a book with her elbow and the book fell. She moved to pick it up, and gasped when she saw Vanitas, startled. He noticed she was wearing earbuds - she did not ignore him, she simply  _couldn't hear_  him.

"Vanitas! Have you… Have you been there long? You scared me!" She took off her earbuds and put a hand on her chest, as if her heart was still racing. To be fair, his was a little, too. He smirked, crossing his arms.

"Yeah, that's usually how people feel when they see me. Their brain tell them that they'd better stay away."

"And you're… proud of it? That sounds a bit sad." He shrugged at that, taking the seat next to her and stealing her book.

"What's that? Looks boring."

"That's social anthropology. Would you mind giving it back? I really need to study that. I have an exam tomorrow and I need to be ready."

"Oh? Studying the day before the exam? That doesn't sound like what a first-class student like you should do."

She sighed. "I've been really busy with my association this week, and I didn't have time to… You know what? I don't have to give you any excuse, anyway. What are you doing here? It's unusual to see you… In this kind of place."

"Are you implying that I'm too dumb to enter a library? Maybe you even think I'm stupid and illiterate? That's disrespectful and you should be ashamed. I had some books to return, mind you."

He ignored the fact that he had been implying the exact same things about Terra just a minute ago. She had not heard him, and she couldn't know. She wouldn't know. She simply sighed again - did she sound angry? Could a sigh sound angry? It sure sounded angry.

"Don't talk about respect when you just implied yourself that illiterate people are stupid, because that's one of the worst things I've heard you say this week. Now if you'd excuse me, I've got a test to study."

"Prompt to anger, no patience… You really are exhausted, aren't you?"

She was. He didn't need her answer to notice how lifeless her eyes were, how hard she was fighting to keep her eyes open, not to mention these dark circles under them. She had mentioned some kind of association. He didn't know what it was, but it appeared she had invested a lot of herself in that - and a lot of her nights.

"It doesn't matter. I have to… study."

"Yeah, because knowing all this crap will do you a lot of good once you fall asleep on your copy tomorrow."

She rubbed her eyes. "But… the exam…"

He quickly shushed her, clicking his tongue in annoyance. "Okay. Tell you what? At what time does the library open in the morning?"

"It… doesn't, technically. They stay open 24/7 for the whole months, for exams."

"Okay, good. When is your exam?"

"Tomorrow at ten. But what are you -"

"Silence, let me be the smart one for once. It is 7.00 pm. You go home, you go get some sleep, and you meet me here tomorrow morning at 6. I'm an expert at last time revisions. I'll help you study. Deal?"

She frowned, fighting sleep harder than ever. "Why would you help me?" He shrugged, staring at the ceiling. Why, indeed? He didn't owe her anything. He didn't know a thing about social anthropology. She wasn't his friend.

"If you fail at school, you'll end up following the same path I did, and I don't want you on my path. It's  _my_  path, so follow your own, far from mine where I can't see you."

She got up, trying to pick up her books. He stopped her. "Don't worry about this, I'm sure the lovely lady at the desk will be more than happy to clean that up for you. I'll go and ask her. That must stay between the two of us, but I think she's got a thing for me." He winked at Aqua, who let out a weak laugh.

"Alright. I'll come back tomorrow, then. You don't have to come, you know. This exam is my problem, not yours, so you don't have to wake up early for that."

"We'll see about that. Now go to sleep!" He shooed her away, and she finally left, under his amused eyes.

* * *

She came back at 6 on the dot, looking much more alive than the night before. He was already there, two steaming cups of coffee on the table and a basket with some fruits on it next to the cups.

"So you came back." She sounded surprised, but the blush on her cheeks seemed to indicate she was glad. At least he hoped that's what it meant. He wasn't much familiar with body language. She didn't look angry, which was already a good point.

"No time to lose. You forgot your notebook yesterday."

"I did." She took the notebook, reading through her notes quickly. She frowned and paused. "Wait, is that…"

"I know nothing of social anthropology, but I scoured down the book and took the liberty of writing down everything that seemed important. I might have missed some things, and written down some useless junk, but that should be fine."

"Vanitas, that's…"

"I've also reorganised it on smaller index cards, by the dominant themes of that. I'm giving you thirty minutes to read them and remember as much as you can, and then I'll start asking questions. Ready? Go."

"This must have been so much work for you… You didn't stay up all night, did you?"

"Twenty nine minutes."

She smiled and picked up the cards. Truth was, it had been exhausting for him. He spent the whole night reading a boring book, and, while he got the main ideas, he had really no interest in it. He only wrote down anything that looked important on the notebook, and then remembered that Ven often used index cards to revise, and he gave it a try. And while he managed to organise everything, he couldn't remember a thing that he wrote. Good at organization, terrible at revisions. That had always been like this. That was why he failed test after test. He couldn't get himself to focus long enough to care or learn anything. Simply focusing on these cards took him five hours. He barely had time to pop in at home for a quick shower, bought the coffee as well as the fruits and hurry back to the library before she arrived. The librarian didn't even say a word when he brought the coffee in, flashing her a smile with the most hypocrite "Good morning" he could muster.

She grimaced as she drank her coffee. "So sweet! Just how much sugar did you put in that?"

"Four. Always four cubes. The perfect balance between bitter and sweet. Time's up! Ready for the first question?"

"Go on."

"Okay. I want you to tell me the five main pillars of…"

And they went on like this, for three hours, every time thirty minutes of some more revising, followed by thirty minutes of questions, where Vanitas checked on the notebooks the notions she got right, the ones she got wrong and the ones she forgot. Of course, he couldn't really evaluate her insights or anything she developed and had no idea most of the time if she was right or wrong. All he could ensure was that she remembered the main themes on her notes. That would have to do it.

"Alright, only thirty minutes before your exam. Off you go." She stretched, finishing her cup of coffee with a shiver.

"This is really too sweet." But then she beamed a smile at him, leant forward and put a kiss on his cheek. "And so were you. I cannot thank you enough for this. I'm still not sure why you helped me, but… Thanks. I will remember that."

"Yeah, about that…"

"Let me guess: not a word to Terra or Ven?" She winked at him, and he slowly nodded. He had a reputation to keep. He couldn't let anyone realise that he wasn't as tough as he pretended.

"Hey, Aqua." She looked at him, smiling. "Remember what I said. The streets are  _my_  realm, a dark, dark realm… So be sure to stay away from there. I only helped you to be sure you won't be out there stalking me."

She chuckled. "Sure. I'll stay in the Realm of Light, and you in the Realm of Darkness. But remember that at every dawn and dusk, these Realms actually come in contact, even for a short while." She winked. She winked a lot, he noticed. Did she wink at Terra that often? "Alright, let's rule that exam!"

She left him, humming. He stared at her go, before gathering all of her books, and going back to the librarian. He dropped the books on the desk.

"Here. I don't know where they go. But that's your job, isn't it?"

The woman squinted, staring at him. "I really cannot understand you, young man. How can someone so rude and uneducated actually be so kind and considerate with someone? You must really like her."

He shrugged, sticking his tongue out at her. "Not your business, granny. See you around!"

She mumbled something about respect, but he didn't listen. He was long gone.

As soon as he got home (skipping class, because he had studied enough for the rest of the week), he crashed himself into his bed. He was exhausted.

He fell asleep with the memory of soft lips on his cheeks, and a stupid grin on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Truth be told, I was almost embarrassed to write Vanitas being such a prick. I know he is supposed to be a bad guy and everything, but I don't know, I just wanted to slap his face x'D


	4. On that cold night?

Was it in the middle of that cold, winter night?

Vanitas had run from home. It wasn’t unusual for him to be sleeping out, and he knew no one would really worry. Ven might even cover him up, pretend that Vanitas had told him he’d sleep at a friend’s. No matter how much he ran, he would still come back. But sometimes, the company of the stars (and a bottle of booze) felt much better than having a roof over his head and the loud snores of his brother on the room next door.

Tonight was freezing, but he didn’t care. For one, alcohol warmed him up - or maybe he was just too drunk to feel the cold. And then, he had a warm coat blocking the wind. He had spent the whole evening hanging out with his gang, setting fire to public trash bins or tagging their names on any wall they could find. Long after night came, the guys finally left, and Vanitas was by himself, in company of the night sky, at peace.

He didn’t mind the noise around, the sound of the streets, of cars driving way above the speed limit and of other drunkards screaming and fighting. This still felt better than home. This still was better than home.

He shivered, and the cold wasn’t to blame. How long had it been since he started hating his place? Had he ever liked it? This house reminded him of what he was, and what he wasn’t.

Both of his parents had succeeded in life. They had high degrees, owned a house probably too big for four people with a lovely garden, a nice car, were a happy couple and parents of two child. They were the perfect incarnation of the American dream. Ventus would probably follow their path, find a nice girl and have a wonderful little life himself.

In comparison, Vanitas was a failure. He wasn’t particularly stupid, he just disliked school. He knew how to study, but never got really interested in that. He had no dream. No ambition. He wasn’t really good at anything, except maybe at disappointing people. He disliked being told what to do. He had no faith that could help him - he was all alone, and while he did not mind it, he knew what society thought of that. He knew that in this world, he wouldn’t last long.

Even when he was in the streets, he felt like an impostor. All these people had nowhere to go, and here he was, the selfish little boy who never knew hunger, with an expensive jacket to keep him warm, with overpriced shoes that kept his toes from frost bites. Even his booze was probably more expensive than anything people around here owned.

That being said, he wasn’t keeping it all for himself. He often bought hot meals to share, maybe to keep the guilt at bay. But guilt was still there, telling him he didn’t belong here. Telling him he didn’t belong anywhere.

That night, that cold December night, six nights before Christmas, he would fall asleep not too far from a man named Earl - it might not have been his real name, but that didn’t matter. Earl wasn’t much of a talker, a reason why Vanitas liked him. The man had slept in these streets for as long as Vanitas remembered, and sometimes chased off people trying to annoy Vanitas while he was asleep - the boy didn’t only have friends around. In exchange, Vanitas kept an eye on the man’s stuff when he was there, and gave him a warm plaid.

The other reason why Vanitas liked Earl was Shadow. She was Earl’s dog, a black Labrador who loved Vanitas and would always play with him. He liked animals more than he liked humans. They never were disappointed by you. They never expected anything from you. They were simply happy you were there.

Absent-mindedly petting Shadow, Vanitas was staring at the night sky, waiting for sleep to come.

 

When someone walked to Earl, Shadow growled and ran back to her master, waking Vanitas up. It was really cold now, and a little cloud of fog escaped his mouth every time he breathed out. His fingers, despite being in his pockets, were cold and really painful, and his back was sore. He slowly turned his head to see who would disturb his companion (and his sleep), and gasped.

Why did it seem like Aqua was everywhere he went? She was crouching next to Earl, a steaming cup in her hand, and she was smiling. The wind carried her words all the way to Vanitas.

“It’s really cold tonight. May I offer you a cup of coffee? A tea, perhaps? We’ve got soup, too.”

“Soup.” Vanitas smirked. Earl really wasn’t a man of many words. Aqua nodded, not losing her smile.

“Would you like to have it here? We have shelters opened. You will get a bed, access to sanitaries and food. I think you will be better there than here in the cold.”

Earl shrugged, looking at his dog. Aqua slowly reached out to Shadow, who growled a bit before letting the blue haired stranger pet her.

“She can come too, of course. We’ve got water and food for her as well. What do you say, pretty? Would you like a warm bed for the night?”

It took a moment for Vanitas to realise she was talking to the dog and not the human, and he did his best not to laugh, picturing the girl talking to an old man that way. Earl finally nodded, getting up, and Aqua gave him her steaming cup with a bright smile.

Shadow barked, bringing Vanitas back to reality. Soon she would come to him. No way she would care about an old homeless man and not the man just a few meters away. He quickly put his hood on, jumping to his feet. The world was spinning a bit, but he did not have time to care about it. He needed to get away. He really had to.

“Wait! Please, wait!”

He stopped, making sure all she could see was his back.

“Wouldn’t you like somewhere warm to rest for the night? Something hot to eat?”

He shook his head, exaggerating the movement so that she would see it even with the hood on. She sighed.

“Don’t you have anywhere you can go that is safer than the street, then? Please. It’s really dangerous with the cold. I don’t want you to be hurt. Our association can help you find a safe place.”

So that was the association he heard her talk about. Helping homeless people. Helping hopeless people. That was so much like her, the perfect job for someone as selfless as she was. No wonder she always got in his way, then. He was the perfect material for her stupid association. He shrugged, trying to walk away, but she ran after him.

He felt her hand grab his wrist, and it took all the self control in the world not to turn back. She put something in his hand. He could feel the cardboard around the cup. The nice smell of coffee finished to wake him up, and he didn’t know whether he should blame her or thank her for that. Instead, he kept quiet, praying that she wouldn’t look at his face.

“At least take that to keep you warm. Try to find somewhere with a shelter for the wind. Take care of you, please.”

She slowly let him go, and this time, he managed to escape her. He would go home. He had no interest in sleeping under the stars anymore tonight, and no interest in sleeping whatsoever. He’d go home and watch silly sitcoms until his body would finally claim again some sleep.

He took a sip of warm coffee and froze. It wasn’t any kind of coffee. It was a coffee with four sugar cubes in it. He scoffed, keeping on walking.

He would go home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mama Aqua knows, Vanitas, she just knows 8D  
> Thank you to all leaving reviews (on the various platforms). I don't know if you can post comments when not logged in on AO3, but if you can, don't be shy! I read them all and they all make me really happy. I also find it easier to reply on AO3 than on FFNet~   
> When will the next chapter be out? No idea, but now that Vanitas knows about the association, some plot elements are finally in place!


	5. At his house?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it iiiis! This chapter was on my mind for a very long time, but I couldn't just throw it in without having several chapters before. It's also a chapter that I'm really nervous to post because it is much more serious than the other ones, so I hope you will still enjoy ;A;

Was it that night, in their very own house?

It had been a lousy day, and the only way to complete a lousy day was with a lousy evening.

Vanitas had learnt how to smell trouble even before stepping into his house. Right now, even the front door smelled troubles. Vanitas tended to sort troubles into two categories : the ones he was looking for, and the ones he was running from. Funnily, these two categories were deeply connected, each one of them leading to the other one. Getting into troubles on purpose to run from unwanted troubles. Getting into unwanted troubles for running into troubles on purpose.

He just got back from wanted troubles. He had spent his day at the arcade, and it had not even been fun. He lost every game, spent too much money for too little fun. His usual booze shop was closed, no other store would accept to sell alcohol to a minor, even if he paid more. The burger he had for lunch was cold. It was raining, and he was cold. Pissed from this day, he provoked random guys on the streets until one finally agreed to exchange some punches. At least  _ that _ was fun, and worth his lip cut, black eye and painful ribs. That was worth running away from the cops for almost an hour, hiding, out of breath, in a house whose owner had forgotten to lock. That was worth the disgusting cookies he had stolen from a jar in the said house and which gross taste he could still feel on his tongue. That was worth it, because he had chosen these troubles.

The front door smelled like troubles he did not want.

Now, what was the best way to avoid these troubles? There still was the running away solution, but it was raining, and he wanted fresh, dry clothes. There was no star to watch tonight. He’d rather have a roof above his head than dark clouds. That left him with the second option - good thing he was a good climber.

He walked around the house. Lucky him: there was some light in Ven’s room. Vanitas took a few steps back before running fast, jumping on the bin and grabbing the edge of his brother’s window. After years of running from the police, parkour was a second nature to him. He grunted, trying to pull himself up. The rain didn’t help, though, and it was incredibly slippery.  _ Lousy day till the end _ , he thought as he felt his body falling. It probably couldn’t get worse anyway - at least, so he thought until two hands grabbed his wrists, stopping his fall and pulling him to the safety of the room.

If one of the hands belonged to Ven -  _ When did he get so strong, though? _ thought Vanitas, staring at his brother as if he just realised his twin wasn’t 7 anymore - the other one was less pleasant.

“I’m surprised you did not let me fall, Terra. That would have sounded much more like you.” Falling suddenly felt like a better solution than being saved by his brother’s dumb friend, Terra. He was one of the persons Vanitas disliked the most, his frown always disapproving all that Van said or did. Today was no different.

“That’s the difference between the two of us, Vanitas. I can put my own judgement aside to help those who matters to the ones mattering to me.”

“That quite a long sentence.” Vanitas whistled. “Did you have it prepared in the corner of your brain? I doubt you could pull that out with that much spontaneity.”

“Your face… Did you get into troubles  _ again _ ?” Aqua’s soft voice interrupted them. She didn’t sound angry, or worried. Maybe a bit annoyed. He could feel the judgement in her voice, in her eyes - judgement that he hated when it came from Terra, and yet that almost made him feel ashamed when coming from her. He smirked. She had no idea.

“What can I say? Being a superhero is a tough job. Our city can rest, now, for I defeated evil.”

A wide variety of reactions followed his words. Terra groaned, as if he was ready to leap on him and kill him. Aqua rolled her eyes, unamused. Ventus did his best to cover his smile, used to his brother’s actions and not really worrying much.

“You should get changed, you’ll catch a cold.” Aqua sighed, staring at Vanitas. Terra groaned another time - Vanitas wondered if that was his usual way of speaking. That would explain a lot.

Vanitas chuckled, and removed his soaking wet shirt, throwing it at Terra’s face while leaving the room. He heard some very interesting insults, accompanied by a laugh a bit too high-pitched to be Ven’s, and his grin grew wider as he entered his own room, carefully closing the door.

 

“Where were you?”

He jumped at the voice behind him. He had been back for five minutes top, extra careful not to make a sound, and yet  _ they  _ had found him. They? The unwanted troubles.

“Where do you think I were?” He answered, shrugging, not raising his eyes from his PSP. He was so close to beat that boss…

“Vanitas, the school called.” Of course, her voice was softer than his. He was used to it. Daddy being angry and yelling, Mommy being sad and worried. He sighed.

“They did? Next time they do, tell them I said hi.”

“This isn’t fun, Vanitas. When were you going to tell us?”

“Dad, I don’t like charades. If you want to say something, say it, then get over it.” He was almost tempted to pause his game to see his father’s face. He could picture it really well, though, having witnessed it over and over. His skin slowly turning red, veins popping at his temples. Very anime-like. Meanwhile, his mother would get paler and paler, as if his father was stealing her own blood.

“I’m talking about you getting expelled, you ungrateful son. Your mother and I are working so hard to make sure you both have all that you need, and all you do is… What exactly? What are you doing of your days? Let me guess, getting drunk? Doing drugs?”

“Wow. That’s a very cliché way of seeing teenagers.” Vanitas snorted, although this wasn’t technically too wrong. “What if I did? What would you do? I doubt you can get any more disappointed anyway, now, can you?”

“Vanitas, don’t speak to us that -”

“How dare you?” His father interrupted his mother, and that felt ruder to Vanitas than anything himself could have said or done. “Do you have any idea what you’re putting us through every time you run away? Every time you come back with your face bruised? Do you know how many times we thought the police would bang on this door to come and get you?”

The house was silent, Vanitas realised. Way too silent. Ven’s room was on the other side of this paper-thin wall, and he had two friends with him. Vanitas tried to imagine what faces they were pulling right now. Ven’s sorry face. Aqua’s shocked face. Terra’s victorious face.

“I don’t want the police to show up to tell us something happened to you.” His mother said. Vanitas disliked making her unhappy. She was a very kind woman, and Ven had inherited all of her good traits. However, she never really stood for him either when his father was letting all of his anger out. She was there to soothe the pain away afterwards, but in the middle of a fight, she was pretty useless. Never would she raise her voice.

“Then there’s no need to worry. I run too fast for the police to catch me, and I never carry my ID around, so they’ll never find the house.” He smirked, knowing already he had gone too far. His father snatched the console from his hands and threw it away. Van barely even reacted. He would have to redo that boss fight, which was troublesome, but he’d live through it.

“Get out of my house. Now.” Blood froze in his veins. That was the first time he felt that much anger in his father’s voice. The first time  _ A lot of troubles _ sounded so close to  _ too much troubles _ . “You heard me. You are a constant disappointment. Never once you’ve done anything right. At least your brother is there to balance things out.”

That was when Vanitas’s careless mask broke. He jumped on his feet, almost ready to punch his father. He wanted him to leave? Fine. He would. He never felt home here anyway. But if there was one thing he would never let his father say, it would be anything about Ven.

“Enough. Both of you.”

This should have been his mother. This should have been her role. This could have been Ventus. This could have been something he’d do. But it was neither of them. It was a calm, and yet firm feminine voice. A voice that wouldn’t take no as an answer. A voice that incited him not to land that punch.

“Stay out of this. This is none of your business.” Was he angry at her, or only trying to protect her? He didn’t know. It was true that his father really liked Aqua and Terra, and if she stepped in this fight, this could change. But it had mostly nothing to do with her.

“It is my business, because I am Ventus’s friend, and this is wearing on him. Now there’s a few things that I’d like to say, whether you like them or not. And I’ll start with you, Vanitas.”

He glared at her. Her usually warm blue eyes looked dead cold tonight. Still, he could feel something else… Softness? He probably was imagining it. He crossed his arms, waiting.

“Your parents love you, and they worry about you. I’d like you to never doubt that. Ventus loves you and worries too. Can’t you see that? Can’t you see that all they want is for you to find your way to be happy? You dropped off school, but maybe that’s just not what you needed. There is something, out there, that you can do, a job that you will love. You don’t have to feel like you  _ have to _ get a degree to succeed in life. There are plenty of things you can do. Plenty of things much healthier than the life you’re trying to convince yourself you enjoy. Remember when you told me all these things you did for Ven? For once, I’d like you to do them for yourself. Give yourself more credit. There is a place for you out there. And if you need help finding it, I can help.”

Vanitas did his best to still look angry, but there was something in her voice that took all the anger away. He was just tired. So tired. He wanted to believe her, even though he knew that the world had no place for someone like him.

“As for you, Sir…” She turned to his father, and this time he was sure it wasn’t his imagination. The softness in her eyes was gone. She now fully looked like a primary school teacher lecturing a disobedient kid. “I don’t even know where to start. This is not my job to tell you how to raise your child, so feel free to ignore what I’m about to say, but I really hope this will sink in.” She took a deep breathe, and Vanitas realised her hands were shaking. She was probably gathering a lot of courage to speak up. She was standing by the door, and neither Ven or Terra were there. Vanitas thought about Ven, probably curled in his bed, hands covering his ears, Terra by his side to comfort him. None of this was fair for him.

“You love your children. I know that, I can see that, but you are doing a really poor job at showing them. I’ve met parents like you before. You think that by pointing out what Ven’s doing right, Vanitas will follow the same path. Don’t. Don’t ever compare your children. They aren’t one entity with a single mind and a single heart, they are two people liking and disliking different things. Ventus likes hot chocolate, meeting new people and windy days. Vanitas likes his coffee with a lot of sugar, staying with a small group of people or being on his own and clear nights. They are not the same person. And they are not you. You can’t expect them to follow the same path - or to follow your path. Let them be who they want to. Support them. Listen to them. Be ready to help them when they need you. Don’t force them into a silly competition based on your own criterias of success. You are hurting them both. Home is a place where you should feel safe, and I think the reason Vanitas ran away so much, and talked so little was because he did not feel safe.” She paused, and for a second, she looked really sad. She quickly regained her composure, a smile drawn on her lips. “A family is something too precious to lose. Take care of it.”

Surprisingly, it was his mother who answered. That was unexpected from her. “Aqua’s right. Just how much have we ruined… Vanitas, I’m sorry. I thought that giving you your own space would be the solution. Your father thought that guiding you would be the solution. And we both were incredibly wrong. We were not there as much as we should have, were we? But no one is to leave this house today. This will always be your home, and no one will kick you out.” She slid an angry look at her husband, and it was probably the first time Vanitas ever saw her looking at his father that way. “I would love that you’d talk more to us. And we will listen. No more hasty conclusions. Okay?”

Vanitas looked at his father. He did not want compromises from his mother. She wasn’t the one he was blaming. His father grunted. “I guess we both went too far. Fine. I’m sorry. I won’t compare you to Ventus anymore or insist that having a degree is important. But this is all under conditions.”

Vanitas gritted his teeth. His father wasn’t even trying to sound sorry. But a deal might be what they both needed. What Ven and his mother needed. He waited.

“You are finishing high school. After that, live your life, but you get back to that school and you complete that year. And you are coming back home before midnight every night, unless you tell us where you are going to sleep. I don’t want to smell any alcohol on you, any tobacco, anything. Do we have an agreement?”

Vanitas frowned. He actually expected worse. “Yes Sir.” He wasn’t dumb, and he knew that didn’t mean they would suddenly have that father-son relationship they never had, but it was at least a beginning.

“Good. Now, it is late, and I am going to sleep. Good night, kids. Oh, and Aqua, you were right about something else: you have no right to tell me how to raise my kids.”

“Darling…” His mother sighed, quickly excusing herself as she followed her husband. Aqua walked in, picking up Vanitas’s console on the floor. He was surprised to see it was still working.

“Here. That’s yours, I believe?”

“You should have stayed out of this. This was family business, and you are not part of this family. You will never be.”

She chuckled. “Blame me all you want, I don’t mind. Do you want to stay alone, or do you wish some company?”

For a split second, he thought she meant she would stay here, until his brain understood she meant the whole gang. He shook his head. “This is holy ground, no Terra allowed. You can check, it’s written on the door.” He noticed that she quickly glanced at the door and looked at the sign with an amused smile.

“I was talking about Ven, you know.” He bit his tongue, pissed he had not thought of a possibility where she wasn’t here. “I think he might need you more than us, actually.”

Vanitas slowly nodded. It made sense. And truth was, he might need Ven a little, too. Aqua smiled, ruffling his hair as if he was 6 years old, and made her way to the door.

“I still think this wasn’t your business.”

“I know. You told me twice already.”

“But… Thanks. For Ven.”

She chuckled. “Of course. For Ven.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALRIGHT. THIS CHAPTER NEEDS SOME AUTHOR'S NOTES
> 
> In my headcanon for this universe, the reason Van is so dark is due to his father pushing both of their kids to follow his path. Kids often get compared to their siblings (I've been in the same situation and while people don't do it with malicious intent... well, it's not a nice feeling), and that is what happened to Van. His father isn't a bad person, but he has some ideals and disapproves that his son is straying away from them. This led Vanitas to stray even more and more, and this is why he's acting so much like a jerk while caring for some people. (that doesn't excuse his behaviour, though, he's still a jerk no matter what XD)
> 
> Also friendly reminder that breaking into one's house and stealing cookie is probably a crime in your country no matter where you live so don't be Van, don't do it. With love, Captain Obvious.


	6. At the prom?

Was it on their prom night?

Vanitas was sulking. He got dragged in that stupid prom by Ven and he hated it already. He hadn’t even been back in school for a long time, and he did not want to bond with anyone. But Ven had insisted, and insisted again, annoying Vanitas until he’d agree to come that night.

“Come on, it will be fun!” “You know, the food is pretty much free.” “I bought a ticket for my date but she had hers already so it would be wasted money.” “You will look amazing in a tuxedo.” “I promise that if you’re bored passed 10, I’ll let you go home.”

Vanitas made sure to wear a watch. He was a modern version of Cinderella, and at the first stroke of mid...ten, he would run back home.

Of course, going to the prom had meant going with  _ someone _ . Vanitas had no one in mind. He didn’t know the names of half of the girls in his class. He was going to use that as an excuse when Ven asked a girl from his class if she was free ; the girl, probably thinking Ven was asking her out, said she was, and that’s when that sneaky brat clapped his hands and said “Great, my brother was looking for a partner!”

And now Van was standing in front of the gym with a girl he barely knew. Minerva - that was her name - was a petite girl with black hair tied in two buns on the top of her head. She had a ridiculous, flashy, huge pink dress that made her look like a wedding cake. Ven had coached Vanitas for his outfit, and while there was  _ no way _ he’d ever wear a tux, he was wearing a white shirt, a loose dark red tie, black trousers, and this was the closest to  _ elegant _ he’d ever been. Their mother had insisted to take a picture of them, and he knew it would soon be framed on every wall of the house. She might even make a mug with the picture. Or have it printed on a wallpaper. He now started to imagine every support this picture could be printed on, and started laughing while fearing for the worst.

“Vanitas, is everything alright?” Minerva was probably concerned by his cackling - not that he could blame her. She got tricked into dating a guy who got expelled for a whole month and who wasn’t known for his kindness, and now said guy was laughing alone while staring at the door.

“Yeah, I just imagined how everyone would react when they would see I actually managed to get someone to come with me.”

Minerva smiled at him with kindness. “Don’t say that. I am sure you would have found someone even if your brother had not helped you.”  _ Tricked, you mean _ , he thought with a smirk.

“Hey, Van, it doesn’t count if you don’t get inside! Come on!” Rolling his eyes at Ven who was calling for him, Vanitas stepped into the hall, Minerva’s hand on his arm (which caused him to roll his eyes again).

The music was loud. People were wearing nice outfits to dance ridiculously. The lights were moving a lot, finding their way to his eyes and blinding him. It was already hot in there, it smelled like sweat, and Vanitas considered running back home. It was 8.30, no way he’d be able to survive until 10.

“You know, you do not have to dance with me if you don’t want to.” Minerva chuckled and winked at him. “I can feel you are not really enthusiastic about being here. Don’t force yourself to stay with me, this is totally fine.”

He smirked. “Trying to get rid of me already?” She laughed again.

“Of course not! If you want to dance, or even chat with me - even if you just want to prove people wrong, feel free to any time. But if you’d rather sit by the buffet I would absolutely understand.”

Vanitas sighed. She wasn’t a bad person, and she was smart - at least smart enough to get him. He nodded. “Yeah, I’ll just go sit in a corner somewhere. If you wanna show off to your friends what an awesome date you have, just make a sign or something. I’ll pretend I was off getting you a drink.”

She smiled at him. “We’ve got ourselves a deal, then. Enjoy your time sitting in your corner!”

He waved, already off to the buffet. There was a huge bowl full of some kind of drink, and some snacks on the table. Nothing enough to feed this whole hall - even though he guessed that people didn’t come here for the food.

“Man, I hate this place already. Hey, give me something to drink”. He didn’t even spare a look at the student in charge of the buffet. Avoiding eye contact usually meant avoiding unpleasant, unnecessary conversations.

“Might I ask for a  _ please _ ?” The student answered back, and he cursed, regretting this look not spared.

“Are you there to spy on Ventus? Making sure he’s being a good boy?” He turned around to see Aqua pouring some of the drink into a plastic cup. She handed him the drink with a frown.

“No, I am here because I used to be a student there and they needed some help.”

And, of course, with her big heart, she couldn’t refuse. Not all superheros wear capes ; but he guessed a cape would look nice on her. He took the cup. “I hope there’s some alcohol in there.” He tasted the drink. Of course, it was plain, regular juice. Too bad.

“I didn’t expect to see you there, Vanitas. I didn’t think you would care about the prom. I’m glad to see I was wrong.” There was indeed something wrong about her tone - her kindness sounded fake, hiding some kind of anger.

“You were right.” He shrugged. “But Ven wanted me to come, and you know he always gets what he wants. He even found me a partner.”

She nodded with a polite smile. “Yes, that is like him.”

She didn’t add anything, and the silence was getting awkward. Should he go sit in his corner, like he had planned? He didn’t mind leaving her like this, but he also knew there was something wrong, and he had nothing better to do than to figure this out.

“Why are you angry?” What was the point of subtlety? When you wanted to know something, you just asked. He didn’t really expect her to tell him, anyway. He was pretty surprised to see her sigh and lose her mask, her eyes now showing how annoyed she was.

“You know, I really wanted to believe in you. That you wanted to be a better person. I have done a lot for you - trust me, more than what you’d think. But sometimes… I wonder if you even try at all.”

He instantly was on the defensive. He had not expected her to be mad at him - for an unknown reason, although he suspected he might know.

“A real ray of sunshine, aren’t you?” He was trying to look like he wasn’t hurt, but he did a poor job at it. She sighed again.

“It was really hard to get you that job in the shelter.” So that was really what it was all about. He kind of had guessed. “Even  _ I _ didn’t know you had a criminal record.”

“It was nothing important.”

“You punched a police officer.”

“He was a douche.”

“I had to  _ defend _ your application really hard. To promise you were older now, you had changed. That you were really willing to work there. That you loved animals.”

“I do. I just hate humans.”

“You showed up at work completely drunk.”

“It happened only once.”

“It was on the second day! And you punched someone! Do you always have to punch people?”

“Only when they’re asking for it.”

She stopped to fill a cup for someone, and she handed the drink so violently to the student she spilled half of the drink on the table.

“And what could that person have done exactly to deserve a broken nose?”

Vanitas glared at her. “He brought back the dog he adopted two days earlier, saying she wasn’t fit for a house with kids, that she got violent. The dog had fresh wounds. That dickhead hit her. That’s enough of a reason. And then I quit the shelter because I knew they wouldn’t want me to come back anyway.”

Aqua massaged her temples, obviously doing her best to calm down. “Violence wasn’t the answer. No matter what happens, violence isn’t the answer. And as long as you don’t get that, I fear I cannot help you.”

“Fine. I don’t need your help anyway. We’re graduating in a couple of months, and then I’ll live my own life. You’ll be rid of me.”

She looked pained, hurt, and her expression softened. “That’s not what I meant. I’m not saying I want to get rid of you. I want you to be happy, but I don’t want it to be at other’s expense. And right now, I am not the most adequate person to help you. That’s all.”

It almost felt like she was breaking up with him - which was stupid, because there was no way they would ever be together anyway. He felt hurt, much more than what he’d like to admit. The only person who still believed in him was giving up. He was now back at square one, all alone.

“Hey Aqua! How’s it going? I hope my stupid brother isn’t bothering you?”

Was Ventus unable to read the mood? His stupid grin was a ray of light trying to go through the gloomy mist of betrayal between Aqua and Vanitas - however, this time, the mist was so thick it wouldn’t go through.

“I just told him I was surprised to see him here, and he said you forced him. This isn’t very kind of you, Ven.”

Ven laughed. “Yeah, I know, but that’s very likely to be the last prom of his life, I didn’t want him to miss out! Oh, is that a new necklace?”

Aqua’s fingers brushed the blue stone hanging from her neck. Her face suddenly got softer, warmer, and she even blushed.

“It is. Terra gave it to me for our first anniversary yesterday at the restaurant. It’s lovely, isn’t it?”

“He sure picked the right one, it is beautiful! I can’t believe you’ve been together for a year, it feels just like yesterday to me!”

Aqua laughed and answered back, but Vanitas didn’t hear a thing anymore. He just wanted to be away, far away, far from this place where the only one he ever trusted was now judging him just like anyone else, far from this place where he would hear her tell how  _ happy _ she was with stupid stupid Terra and how much she  _ loved _ him and how much she  _ despised _ Vanitas.

They were so deep in their cheerful, cheesy, stupid conversation they didn’t pay him any attention anymore. Not even when he pulled out the tiny bottle of vodka he had brought to make this evening more acceptable. Not even when he poured it into the juice with no second thought. Not even when he stormed outside of the hall.

On his way out, he caught the glimpse of a big, pink wedding cake. Minerva was dancing with Michael King, the class rep, a tiny guy with a high pitched voice Vanitas hated. So even she had lied when she had said she would gladly dance with him.

Everybody kept on lying to him, anyway. There was no one who’d understand, no one he could trust. They all had put a label on him a long time ago. “Keep out”.

He came back home by foot. It was an one-hour-walk, and he hoped that would help him calm his nerves. It did not.

When he opened the door, his mother was in the living room, and before she could even open her mouth, he hissed “Ask me how it went and I am leaving this house forever.”.

He slammed his bedroom door and locked it behind him.

He was furious. Just furious. He had been fooled by pretty blue eyes, and here he was now.

But, strangely enough, he felt something else in his chest. Usually, he would have just given up. People thought he was a loser? He’d hate to disappoint. But not this time. This time, he knew he would prove them wrong.

He wouldn’t turn into a nice guy. He wasn’t Ventus. He wouldn’t stop punching people, even if Aqua would judge him for that. He wouldn’t give up who he was.

Instead, he would  _ show _ them who he was, how he could succeed while staying himself.

He was angry at Aqua, angry at the world. But he was also thankful. He didn’t like doing things to please people, but he liked doing them to piss them off.

He had lost something, that night. But he also had gotten something much, much stronger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have not updated in a while, but there it is!  
> I am sorry if that reminded you of crackships from earlier this year... If it didn't, it's for the best!  
> Nothing has been written yet so I can't tell exactly how many chapters there are left, but this story is real close to its end, since I want it to be coherent with Dreaming alone (which, if you haven't read yet, I would strongly recommend as it is one of my favourite works °w° ) ; which is also why I had to break their friendship. I feel really sorry for that, he finally had found a nice job, and had a friend he could trust... ;___;  
> Please leave a review if you enjoyed/noticed the cursed ship!


	7. At Christmas?

Was it on Christmas?

Vanitas’s family was having a dumb Christmas dinner, with dumb uncles, aunts and cousins from his father’s side. Actually, Vanitas didn’t really hate them - but they weren’t really interesting either. So when he heard some help was required somewhere, he didn’t even think twice, and signed up. His father had started to get angry, but his mother had pointed out that he was doing something good and shouldn’t be blamed for that.

They were in a school gym, providing some beds and food for people in need. They even had a christmas tree with presents for kids. Vanitas was serving some soup ( _remember to smile_ , the others said, but he didn’t), looking around. There weren’t enough volunteers. It was hard to find someone willing to sacrifice their Christmas evening, after all. He couldn’t blame them. He was selfish enough most of the time to understand them. But still, a few more hands would be welcome.

“We’re getting a few more people to help, just got them on the phone” one of the volunteers said, and he grunted. Good. Even inside the gym, it wasn’t exactly warm, and he could see people shivering. They were running out of blankets already. The soup was going from hot to barely warm too quickly. If there was a proof there was no Santa, it would be that : spoiled kids getting toys they would get tired of within a week when people here were just trying to get something warm on this cold night.

Someone opened the door, letting a cold gust of wind through. Vanitas was about to yell at them when he realised these were five more volunteers, all with their arms full of blankets, pillows, and other things they needed. Leaving the soup to his colleagues, he went to help.

“Here, let me take some,” he said to one of them, holding a pile of blankets so high he couldn’t even see the face behind them. He took half of the pile.

“Thanks,” she said, and even though the door was closed, he could still feel the cold freeze his bones. It had been nearly six months since he last saw her, since he last talked to her. Six months since that stupid prom he left.  And yet she smiled at him as if nothing had happened. “Oh, hello Vanitas. I’m surprised to see you there!”

He snorted. “I’m sure you’re wondering which side I’m on. Am I the homeless guy or the good guy tonight?” Smirking, he winked. “Let me give you a hint: I’m never the good guy.”

She sighed, but didn’t lose her smile, as they started handing out the blankets. “Stop making yourself the villain, will you? It doesn’t work well when you’re volunteering on Christmas night”

“What about you, though? Didn’t you have plans for Christmas or something? No date with Terra?” If only he didn’t sound that bitter. But it was obvious who she was supposed to spend the night with. She looked prettier than usual, there was no denying it. Delicate makeup, pretty jewelry, a cocktail dress, this wasn’t the outfit of someone planning to spend the night serving some soup. Her smile faded.

“It’s okay. They needed help. Terra will understand.”

“You haven’t told him yet? You ditched him?”

“Of course not! He knows, why wouldn’t I tell him?”

“Then you meant _Terra understands_ , right?”

She looked away. “He _will_ understand. I’m sure of that.”

The thought of Terra being angry made Vanitas happy. The thought of Terra angry at Aqua, a little bit less, though.

“For now, let’s focus on this evening, shall we? We’ve got people to help. They deserve a happy christmas.”

Once they were done with the blankets, Vanitas returned to serving food, while Aqua sat down to read fairytales to the younger ones. She looked really happy. Shining. Gleaming. He glanced at their christmas tree, where someone hung a little angel. It had golden hair, and Vanitas shook his head. He was certain the colour was wrong. Angels weren’t regular human beings. They should have out of the ordinary hair colour. Something like… Something like the colour of the sky. Or of the ocean.

“If you drool in the soup I’ll kick you out,” teased Tiana, one of his colleagues, and Vanitas forced himself to look somewhere else.

“Your girlfriend?” she asked with a smile. He shook his head.

“Not in a million years.”

She chuckled. “Because you don’t like her or because you think she doesn’t like you? Because I can promise you she looked quite a few times in your direction already.”

“Mind your own business,” he groaned, and she just laughed, leaving him alone.

* * *

Time flew, and they were done with the food. Some more volunteers showed up, as some left. Tiana, taking her coat, told Vanitas he was free to go, that they now had enough people anyway, but he didn’t want to go home. Instead, he took a break, taking some fresh air. The night was dark, the wind cold and invigorating. It was a pleasant night. He quickly checked his phone. Ven had texted him. “ _This is so boring without you. They’re all talking adult stuff. Come back, please?_ ” He laughed. There was no way he’d come back home now.

“Not going home?” He turned around to see Aqua, back in her warm coat, leaning against the wall. She was staring at the sky.

“Not yet. They still might need some help. You never know.”

She softly chuckled, finally looking at him. “See? I told you there was no point in pretending you were a villain.”

“Oh, shut up and go back with Terra already.” He regretted it as soon as the words were out. He had not even wanted to sound aggressive, but the timing was wrong. He could see it on her face. Her shoulders had collapsed, instead of looking at the stars, or at him, she was now staring at the ground.

“He doesn’t always understand how important this all is to me. But it’s fine. I’ll see him tomorrow and he will have forgiven me. We’ll have lunch together, and things will be back to normal.”

_Until next time_ , Vanitas thought, but managed to keep for himself. “You made one guy unhappy, but you brought a smile to so many more faces. Surely that counts for something, right?” he instead offered, and it brought a smile to her face as well.

“You’re right. Christmas is important to everyone. I’m glad I get to spend some time here.”

He nodded, and for a moment, they said nothing at all. He was starting to get a bit cold, but he didn’t want to ruin this moment. He was selfish, after all.

“Ven told me you are a college student now?” She was the one to break that silence. But only to talk about him. He closed his eyes. That meant nothing. To her, he was just a lost cause she’d try to help. Nothing else.

“Yeah. Turns out our local university took late admissions. I’m not hoping to be a vet, I don’t have what it takes to finish these classes, but maybe I can be an assistant or something.”

“Working with animals, then? So you found your path, didn’t you?”

“Yeah.” He looked at her. “Thanks to you.” Did she just blush? He wasn’t sure. He probably imagined it. He must have, given she was now simply gently smiling.

“I’m happy to know I could have helped somehow. I think I owe you an apology, don’t I?”

“What for?” He was genuinely surprised. He failed to see what she could apologize for.

“That night, at the prom…  I hurt your feelings, didn’t I?”

He gasped. Was it that easy to read though him?

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to sound like I was rejecting you. I wanted to be able to help you, somehow… But I had no idea what to do. I had no solution to offer. I felt so helpless. I’m sorry if you felt like I was letting you down, Vanitas. And I’m sorry it took this long to apologize.”

So that was what she was talking about. He relaxed. It was true that he was pretty angry back then - but had that not happened, he might be on the other side of these bowl of soups tonight.

“That actually was the kick I needed, you know. The one no one dared give me.” He grinned at her. “You were right. I couldn’t just wait and watch my life happen without me. Uni feels better than high school, so I don’t quite regret it yet. And I should apologize too, I guess…” He winced. “You know, about that vodka I poured in the juice.”

She furrowed her brows. “You’re apologizing, but are you sorry about it?”

“... No.” But instead of looking angry, she just laughed.

“The first person to try the juice was Ven, actually. He reported that to me right away, so no harm was done. We never told anyone. Your secret is safe.” She winked at him, and he felt his heart miss a beat.

“Let’s go back inside, shall we? It’s almost midnight.” She shivered in her coat. In the distance, they could hear the bells chiming.

“Aqua?”

She looked at him. She was looking gorgeous tonight.

He wondered when was the day he realised how much she mattered. Did he just notice it now? Or had he known for a long while?

It didn’t matter. She was with Terra. The two of them were made to be with each other anyway. That was what everyone said. Vanitas was a selfish brat, but he knew when things he wanted just weren’t for him. That was fine. Painful, but fine.

He smiled, and gently put a kiss on her cheek.

“Merry Christmas.”

It didn’t matter when he fell for her.

All that mattered is that he had.

Even if they weren’t meant to be, that was the one thing he wouldn’t regret.

The selfish boy would cherish these feelings for ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End
> 
> Merry Christmas! I would have loved this fic to have more chapters (although I was starting to lack ideas haha) but I wanted it to be somehow canon with Dreaming Alone, so it wouldn't make sense!  
> Anyway, here is my annual Christmas fic. Some Vanqua this year!
> 
> I wish you all a wonderful end of 2018! If you celebrate Christmas, I hope Santa brought you nice stuff! (guess who's going to finally play 0.2 for the 1st time of her life?)


End file.
